Restoring Tally

You’d have to be crazy to hate a dude as sweet as Mike Gatto.  For incontrovertible evidence of this claim, take a look a this carnival freakshow of a website about a man who grew so psychopathically resentful of his childhood circumcision that in his 50’s he tried to “restore” his foreskin.

And he hates Mike Gatto.  A lot.  He hates Mike Gatto so much that he threw up an amateurish website accusing Mike Gatto of being — honest to fucking God — “The Face of  Genital Cutting in America.”  He even created this cute little Gatto/genital mutilation meme to share on Facebook, depicting Mike Gatto’s stoic visage super-imposed over gory close-ups of infant penises being surgically upgraded with female-friendly options.


We’ve long-chronicled how Mike Gatto’s stunning good looks and success in life have made him a target for the small, the petty and the envious, but ‘Restoring Tally’ takes that shit to a whole new level.  As our own Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) pointed out when he first came across this website, Tally experienced a declining sexual libido in his fifties, and rather than accept the obvious, rational reality that he’s simply getting older, he’s decided it’s all Mike Gatto’s fault.

At issue is AB-768, Mike Gatto’s humble assertion that Californians should, if they choose, have the right to circumcise their sons, ensuring them a lifetime of blowjobs from hot chicks who prefer the look, aroma and flavor of a sleek, polished dome.  He and his fellow foreskin fighters have even suggested online that because of this bill, Gatto’s retroactively to blame for Tally’s parents’ decision 50-years-ago to give their son a fighting chance at getting laid.

Loyal readers of Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude may recall some bizarre comments we received one day from someone ranting about penises.  The comments were posted under the name ‘Hannah Lee,’ but it’s pretty obviously a fake name, as no female would ever argue against the merits of circumcision.

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In a shameless bit of race-baiting that’s quite frankly insulting to the intelligence of the proud Armenian people, Hannah/Tally even suggests that (a.) because Gatto supports the right to circumcision and (b.) most Armenian men aren’t circumcised, then Gatto must somehow detest Armenians with the same illogical hatred Tally has for Handsome Mike.  Of course, anyone who knows Mike Gatto knows that he’s practically an honorary Armenian at this point.

Regardless of whether or not Mike Gatto is to personally blame for some dead asshole’s decision to circumcise his kid 50 years ago, I think we can agree that when it comes to cocks, we should trust the guy whose putting his inside a former Miss Orange County.

mike and danielle gatto


13 Responses to Restoring Tally

  1. Pingback: Mike Gatto: The Face of Genital Cutting in America — Bill AB-768 |

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  4. Pingback: Tony Asks, “Why do you state my claim as something unconnected to what I’ve written?” Daulton Answers. |

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  11. Pingback: EDITORIAL: I Do Not Have a Cheesy, Disgusting Foreskin |

  12. Pingback: Fiona Ma and Mike Gatto: Colleagues Turned Adversaries by the Snake Pit of California Politics |

  13. Pingback: 10 Legitimately Sweet Things About California State Treasurer Candidate Fiona Ma |

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