The 43rd District’s New Democrat Candidates Are Douches Compared to Mike Gatto

A bunch of douchebags and bitches are vying for the impossible task of filling the pants Mike Gatto will vacate in California’s 43rd voting district next year. Mike Gatto is going to continue being a sweet dude and fucking his hot wife out of the glare of the public eye for a couple of years before his inevitable return to public glory. When that happens, I predict it will be accompanied by an epidemic of hot California reporter chicks fingering themselves uncontrollably.

The losers who will run in Mike Gatto’s stomping grounds of Glendale and Los Feliz include the likes of Hall of Fame pitcher Whitey Ford, action superstar Dolph Lundgren and astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Oh, and a bunch of doorknobs and cunts named Dennis Bullock, Ardy Kassakian, Laura Friedman, Andrew Blumenfeld and Rajiv Datal. Of those inferior serfs, I think Kassakian stands the best chance because his surname sounds kind of Armenian.

The lesson I think we can learn from all of this is that Mike Gatto is a sweet dude with a big dick and exceptionally soft balls. No matter who replaces him next year, they are sure to be a limpdick douchebag or stupid bitch.

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(I am no relation to Mike Gatto, but if I ran for state assembly in the 43rd district next year, you better believe I would win solely on the basis that my surname is coincidentally Gatto.)


About Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto)

I am a sweet dude, but nowhere near as sweet as Mike Gatto. (I am not related to Mike Gatto. Our identical last name is purely a coincidence.)
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