I paused my months-long The Price Is Right marathon to write this, so you know I’ve just about had enough. There is only so much stupidity I can take.
The Burbank Blog has yet again accused our super sweet site of being run by Portantino operatives. Yet. Fucking. Again.
If you’ve spent any time in Los Angeles, you know it’s got some pretty stupid people in it. I used to order hot subs at my local Ralph’s just to watch the moronic deli counter girl put hot roast beef on my sandwich with her hands instead of picking up one of the 500 plastic forks right beside her. It amused me. Yes, I’m an asshole. Fuck you.
You, Burbank Blogger, make that deli counter girl look like a Rhodes scholar.
I’d love for you to prove me wrong. So, take a stab at refuting the following pieces of evidence that Anthony Fatfuck COULD NOT POSSIBLY BE BEHIND OUR FUCKING AWESOME BLOG:
- We launched our blog in 2011. That was five full fucking years before Lard Ass and Sweet Balls were on the same primary ballot. How the fuck could a fat tub of shit like Portantino know who he was going to be running against five full years in advance?
- Further to question 1, even if Lard Ass had a crystal ball or sucked a genie’s cock to divine the future, why the fuck would his response be to start a pornographic blog celebrating Mike Gatto’s sweetness in all its jizz-covered glory? Why? Does that make any sense to you? Any at all?
- Why would Lard Ass write detailed analyses of the full discographies of Guns N Roses and Faith No More? Or engage in inflammatory public insult-fests with foreskin conspiracy theorists? That’s precious time he could be using to eat another tub of margarine.
My super sweet colleague Jarvis already asked you these questions. Try to answer them. I dare you. I’d love to see you flapping your gulls making nonsensical retard noises before posting yet another tired accusation called “Yeah, Well Fuck You, Portantino. Waah Waah My Mom Sucks My Balls.”
Until then, you remain the dumbest piece of shit in Southern California. Fuck you for interrupting The Price Is Right. This fat-ass Mexican was about to win a Jaguar on Golden Road and I wanted to see that shit.