EXTRA EXTRA: Mike Patton is Not a Sweet Dude Anymore

Breaking news out of the early 90’s today, as prog-metal singer Mike Patton bragged about the time he took  a shit in Axl Rose’s orange juice.  While our site’s prior research indicated that Mike Patton and Faith No More were sweet, these new revelations have undoubtably called his past accomplishments into question.

In spite of Patton’s vocal abilities, he’s always been a bit of a douche nugget.  In that way, he’s kinda like Axl Rose.  So maybe he was projecting all of his own bullshit issues onto Axl when he crapped in his orange juice carton and left it somewhere backstage during the Use Your Illusion / Metallica tour that Faith No More was so graciously allowed to open for.

Whatever.  Patton’s just desperate to get some viral attention to try and promote his new album, which probably sucks no matter what Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) says.  Mike Patton:  officially not a sweet dude.

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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One Response to EXTRA EXTRA: Mike Patton is Not a Sweet Dude Anymore

  1. Pingback: EXPERT COMMENTARY: Fat Axl Notwithstanding, Axl Rose is Scientifically Sweeter Than Mike Patton |

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