Mike Gatto & AB210: Unnecessary Traffic Jams Are Not Sweet, Dude

Mike Gatto’s bill loosening restrictions on HOV lanes during off-peak hours has passed the Assembly by an overwhelming vote of 75-1 today.  The bill seeks to ease unnecessary interstate congestion due to irregularities like accidents by opening HOV lanes to all motorists during certain hours.  The bill only affects stretches of the 210 and the 134.  For now.But don’t take my word for it… Let’s allow Captain Big Dick himself to spin an empathetic narrative…

“It’s happened to anyone who lives in Southern California. A late-night accident or mysterious slowing clogs the rightmost freeway lanes, while the carpool lane sits empty,” said Gatto as his throbbing erection tested the tensile strength of his pants.  “AB 210 is a cost-effective way to expand capacity on the state’s highway system and ensure that non-peak-hour travelers can travel to and from home and work and deliver goods and services efficiently.”

Golden Dick went on to more explicitly detail the failures of present restrictions:  “Carpool lanes are intended to increase the capacities of our freeways, reward those who carpool during rush hour, and protect the surrounding environment from harmful exhaust. When motorists are stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic at midnight while carpool lanes sit empty, none of those goals are being met.”

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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One Response to Mike Gatto & AB210: Unnecessary Traffic Jams Are Not Sweet, Dude

  1. cyrilpluckett says:

    Horsedick Gatto needs his own lane just for his throbbing johnson.

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