Monthly Archives: June 2015

11 Bowling Trophies Anthony Portantino Could Hide In His Butt

Anthony Portantino is a big man with a big butthole.  Just how big is Anthony Portantino’s butthole?  Big enough to hide these 11 bowling trophies!!! 11. 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. Advertisements

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BREAKING NEWS: Ironic Gunman Attacks NRA Headquarters

A gunman consumed with nihilistic irony went on a shooting spree at the headquarters of the National Riffle Association today, killing 14. According to eye-witnesses, the suspect entered the NRA offices after easily disposing of a security guard who was too fat … Continue reading

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EXCLUSIVE SHOCKING REVELATION: Daulton Gatto is Actually A Spoon & Fork Tied With a Red Ribbon

This exclusive photo proves the rumors are true:

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RETRACTION: DAULTON GATTO WAS DRUNK AND HIGH: Jarvis Mitchell Is Not Mike Gatto

Mike Gatto is really the earthly incarnation of Kongdickinum, an ancient deity revered among the isolated indigenous populations of the extreme Arctic. Kongdickinum is known throughout the cosmic web for having the biggest dick and the softest balls in the … Continue reading

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STOP THE PRESSES!!!! HUGE NEWS!!!! DAULTON GATTO REVEALS THE TRUTH: Jarvis Mitchell Is Really Mike Gatto!

Verified fact.

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BITING COMMENTARY: Daulton Gatto Wants To Suck Mike Gatto’s Dick

This just in:  esteemed journalist Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) just announced that he wants to suck Mike Gatto’s dick.  Why?  Because he likes to suck on big dicks, and Mike Gatto has a big dick.

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THIS JUST IN: Axl Rose Is a Fat Fuck

This pretty much speaks for itself.

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