Anthony Portantino: Scumbag or Lying Scumbag?

Holy shit.  The Hews Media Group-Community News recently published a bombshell investigation into the Anthony Portantino campaign that paints a damning portrait of politician who is either a scumbag or a lying scumbag.

It all started a few months ago, when Portantino, the comically corpulent politician who will soon face Mike Gatto in the race for the State Senate’s 25th District, proudly launched his new website and trumpeted the endorsement of an impressive roster of politicians and civic organizations.

There’s just one problem:  it was bullshit.  Or parts of it were bullshit anyways.  Within minutes of HMG-CN posting their scoop, the Porkertino campaign pulled down their bogus endorsements list.  Thankfully, screenshots were taken.

Here’s the best one:

Guess what?  Mark Leno hasn’t endorsed Anthony Portainto.  In fact, they haven’t spoken in years.  While that  quote about the tragic suicide of Portantino’s brother was touching, Leno never said it.

When confronted with bogus endorsements, Portantino scrambled to provide a few different excuses, but under the HMG-CN microscope, none seem particularly credible.  His allegation that the graphics were from an aborted 2012 run seem easily disproven by the fact that titles of politicians listed were current.  Furthermore, graphics and color schemes matched his present campaign.  Oh yeah, and the bottom of the page said “Paid for and authorized by Anthony Portantino for Senate 2016, ID# 1334175.”

Oopsie.

Then he tried to argue that they were “mock-ups” for a website they were in the process of building.  But HMG-CN publisher Brian Hews countered, “after seeing the site, my website company said that was very elaborate for a mock-up. Website mock-ups use stock pictures and “Greek text.” If the site was a mockup, they went through a lot of trouble to fabricate text that was very specific to the campaign. It is unheard of to pay a web designer to find pictures and related photos and come up with copy that’s going to be thrown away.”

Double oopsie.

So then Putin-tino decided to argue that the pages were private and that by publishing their contents, HMG-CN would face potential legal action.  But according to Hews, “the page was public. Google crawled it and cached the site meaning it was public. I did a Google search, found it, and took screenshots. If it was private at the time, the search would have produced a login or password page. After the story published, Portantino pulled the site down and now a Google search of “Portantino Endorsements” takes you to a login page.”

What the fuck?  I’d expect this kind of bush-league bullshit from an amateur like Todd Royal.  But for fuck’s sake, Portantino served on the La Canada Flintridge City Council!  That used to mean something, god damn it!

Anyways, Portantino sent one of those nifty Cease & Desist letters over to HMG-CN who seems to have adopted a”fuckyousuckmydick” policy in return.  It’s pretty amusing, and totally worth reading the full story.  Portantino definitely comes off looking like a scumbag.  However, the extent to which he’s a lying scumbag may still be open to debate.

If anything, it gives me a giant boner for all the dirty campaigning to come in 2016!!!

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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6 Responses to Anthony Portantino: Scumbag or Lying Scumbag?

  1. Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) says:

    This is possibly the finest piece of investigative journalism you’ve done since your series of articles on Fat Axl. Great work, Jarvis!

    • cyrilpluckett says:

      What a dingus! Looks like Porkatino will be eating humble pie with his seven cherry pies tonight!

  2. Pingback: California State Controller Betty Yee Endorses a Fat Turd |

  3. Pingback: Anthony Portantino is a Fat Doo-Doo Turd |

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  5. Pingback: Fuck You and Fuck Your Stupid Bullshit: Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude |

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