What Should We Call This Fat Fuck?

In case you haven’t heard, Mike Gatto’s about to be forced out of the State Assembly due to term limits.  That means he’ll be seeking another public office to serve as his next stepping stone on his way to Congress (or LA Mayor, but probably Congress).  So far, it seems like Mike will try to fill Carol Lui’s soon-to-be-vacated State Senate seat in the 25th district.  That will force him into a scorched earth campaign of apocalyptic proportions against this fat fuck:

AHF-Portintino-

That’s Anthony Portantino, and he sucks turds from rectums.  To give you an idea of just how shitty this campaign is going to be, one of his biggest fans is Bukkake Ron Kaye.   If this campaign’s going to be half the shit-show we pray it will be, we need to mobilize now on the PR front.

It’s within that regard that we reach out to  you, our loyal readers, to help us come up with a clever and insulting nickname for Portantino.  Obviously, he’s fat and ugly, and any nickname should highlight those defining characteristics.  But he’s also an idiot, and according to rumors we started a few sentences ago, he also sucks turds from rectums.

Possible nicknames:  Anthony Fatantino?  Anthony Porkertino?  Ol’ Rectum Breath?  Fuck man, people think it’s easy being as clever as we are.  But this shit is hard, man.  Help us out!  What should we call this fat fuck?!

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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4 Responses to What Should We Call This Fat Fuck?

  1. Sacramento Dude says:

    His nickname from his time in the Assembly is “unimportantino”

    But he always looks like that character from the Godfather, Lucca Brassi, as he’s getting strangled in the bar.

  2. Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) says:

    The problem is that Luca Brasi is a pretty sweet dude, and this fat fuck is a fat piece of shit.

    Jarvis is right — this shit is harder than it looks. Higby was Bigby was Pigby — that was easy.

    I think simple is best: Porkantino. That should do it.

  3. Pingback: 8 Inanimate Objects That Remind Jarvis Mitchell of Anthony Portantino |

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