For fuck’s sake. How exactly did we allow our venerated news site to be hijacked by tangental bullshit these last two weeks? It started when Higby died, and like any decent human beings, we showed him respect.
Plagued by guilt over his past comments about Higby, our own Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto) projected his regret and shame onto Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins, who rather tastelessly posted an anti-Higby screed celebrating his death.
Then I had to step in and try to broker a truce because it came to light that Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins has a well-documented history of cyberstalking and has been the subject of countless lawsuits for harassment, defamation and threats of violence. Obviously, this is not the kind of person that our site wants to have as an enemy, and so I hastily issued a retraction of Daulton’s original editorial (Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins is a Disgrace to Humanity) with my own shamelessly transparent mea culpa (Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins is NOT a Disgrace to Humanity).
Independent of that petty drama, I’d forgotten the password to our site’s official email address and after a long six months, I remembered it Monday. When I checked the inbox, it was flooded with one email from Amanda Lollar, founder and president of Bat World, a non-profit bat rehabilitation sanctuary in Texas. Three years ago, she was awarded a 6.1 million dollar defamation judgement against one of her former interns… a woman who would go on to become a Southern California Real Estate Appraiser.
Three years later, and she can’t let it go. Apparently, she’s still Googling the shit out of “Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins,” because this is the weird and menacing email I got…
First of all, why is she expressing her condolences for the loss of Higby? It’s not like we lost a buddy from ‘Nam… he was some blogger we gleefully called fat in about 600 different ways. So right off the bat, her email comes off as even more insincere and self-serving as both Daulton’s original editorial (Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins is a Disgrace to Humanity) and my bullshit retraction (Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins is NOT a Disgrace to Humanity).
Second, Amanda Lollar’s comment about how Mary Cummins should “cease to exist” is fucking psychotic. And considering her obsessive need to cyber-shame Mary Cummins for making similarly psychotic threats, it’s also hypocritical.
ENOUGH! This stops today! I’m done issuing retractions and corrections and I don’t want any more crazy emails! This site is not Yemen, and you crazy bitches aren’t Iran and Saudi Arabia. So go fight your proxy battles elsewhere!
Please allow me to remind and reaffirm to EVERYONE that this site is about two things and two things only: praising Mike Gatto and insulting anyone who criticizes him. This Bat World bullshit is neither. So both Mary Cummins and Amanda Lollar can both go fuck themselves!