EDITORIAL: Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins Is a Disgrace to Humanity

While there was certainly no love lost over the years between the late Michael Higby and the sweet dudes here at Mike Gatto Is a Sweet Dude, we didn’t exactly uncork a fucking bottle of champagne when we learned of Higby’s recent death. The same can’t be said for some crazy hippie feminazi bitch named Mary Cummins.

Cummins is a self-described wildlife rehabilitator and real estate appraiser with a shitty website and an even shittier blog. Whatever. Who gives a shit.

The only facts I’m interested in are these:

1. This bitch humiliated herself by writing a cowardly and caustic treatise about Higby in an attempt to put a posthumous smear on his name and his life’s work. (Side note: I read a whole bunch of waaah waaah blah blah Higby did this Higby did that Higby go to hell oga bahfah fum. I don’t give a shit. Not even a little bit.)

2. This bitch implicitly aligned our super sweet blog with her demonic vitriol in that blog post.

That shit isn’t cool. Even we, who are renowned throughout the Internet for our liberal usage of dog boners and massive logs of shit, wouldn’t stoop to such reprehensible tactics to sling mud at a dead man. Hell, Jarvis even told me that when Ron Kaye dies, we’re going to go through the entire site and replace all the cartoon cocks and ballsacs with roses. That’s what you call class.

Class is clearly something Mary Cummins lacks. At least it turns out that she’s stupid enough to post that kind of embarrassing trash on her business blog so all her douchebag clients can see for themselves what a deranged bitch she is.

So, let’s be clear about something, Mary Cummins: we are not on your side. We do not support your campaign of hatred against a man whose tomb prevents him from defending himself. And only douchebags grow up wanting to become wildlife rehabilitators.

(Daulton Gatto may have a magnificent circumcised cock, but that doesn’t mean he’s related to Mike Gatto. He isn’t. You hear me, Kaye? Or are there too many dog boners in your ears?)

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About Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto)

I am a sweet dude, but nowhere near as sweet as Mike Gatto. (I am not related to Mike Gatto. Our identical last name is purely a coincidence.)
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2 Responses to EDITORIAL: Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins Is a Disgrace to Humanity

  1. Pingback: RETRACTION: Southern California Real Estate Appraiser Mary Cummins Is NOT a Disgrace to Humanity |

  2. Pingback: Mary Cummins & Amanda Lollar Can Both Go Fuck Themselves |

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