As Daulton’s instructed me to do, I’ve been boning up on every issue that Mike “King Dong” Gatto holds near and dear to his heart. And I noticed one subject that we are both incredibly passionate about: hardcore porn.
Back in 2013, some big bald wang with a shit-eater’s smile, Assemblyman (more like AssemblyWOman) Isadore Hall III (D-for-douchebag-Compton) decided that he didn’t want skin flicks to be worth watching anymore, so he introduced AB 640, a bill to make all performers wear condoms during vaginal and anal sex. Anal sex?! You can’t even get pregnant from anal, ASS-emblyWOman Hall!
Gatto, who regularly busts nuts with such great force that he blows quarter-sized holes in his XXXtra Large Magnums, blocked the bill, because fuck condoms! They are for stupid bitches like Bukkake Ron Kaye, who OF COURSE, called Gatto “misleading and disingenuous” over this.
Bukkake Ron Kaye – a man who loves to be bathed in the hot, buttery semen of as many anonymous sailors and construction workers as he can get his mouth on – opposing Gatto’s decision is as ludicrous as his comments. Get a clue, Ron: they can’t blow loads on you through condoms!
For his incessant crusading for what’s right, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation called Gatto, “a pornographer’s best friend.” When your cock can make a buffalo jealous, you’re damn right that all the pornographers love you.
Unfortunately, the bill passed and the billion-dollar porn industry migrated to a promised land of skin-to-skin contact. Meanwhile, Gatto is still fighting for the underdog and the reach-around.