Pope Francis: Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude!

Pope Francis made history today when he declared Mike Gatto a champion of justice and sweetness.  While he didn’t mention Gatto directly by name, he did commemorate the 100th anniversary of the Armenian Genocide and marked the occasion by forcefully and unambiguously singling out the bloodthirsty Ottoman Turks for their role in the mass killings that decimated a once proud culture.

Of course, the Armenian Genocide a pet issue of Assemblyman Gatto’s.  During his time representing the Armenian-American stronghold of Glendale, he’s done more than any politician in the country to draw attention to plight of the lowly Armenians — so much so that the President of Armenia himself recently honored Gatto.

So when Pope Francis commemorated the Armenian Genocide, he may as well have been commemorating the valor, determination and sacrifice of Michael Gatto, representative of California’s 43rd Assembly district.

In the wake of the Pope’s rapturous praise of Gatto, the Turks responded by yanking their ambassador from Rome.  Like anybody fucking cares.  Turkey sucks.  You gotta be a fuckin’ Syrian Kurd to want to go to Turkey.


Pope Francis marvels at the size of Mike Gatto’s manhood.


About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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