Goddamn, shit got sexy as fuck at the Burbank Animal Shelter. Mike Gatto showed up in a fitted T-shirt that showed off his manly chest heavage and rippling biceps. Mike dusted off his guns to support orphaned animals that could otherwise face extermination.
Thankfully, because of the efforts of Mike Gatto (and probably some other people, but mainly Mike Gatto), the Burbank shelter hasn’t been forced to euthanize an animal due to overcrowding in over a year — which really doesn’t seem that long to me, but whatever. They seem pretty fucking excited.
And I was pretty fucking excited to see how snugly that shirt clung to Mike’s beefy frame. It was impossible to pay attention to that other stupid asshole who spoke briefly. Thankfully, he shut the fuck up and got out of Mike’s way again.
Then the kid from Jerry Maguire and Twin Peaks showed up, and Mike hoisted him atop the podium. “Hello, I hope you have find the animals a loving home (sic),” he said in a cloying attempt at being cute. “And welcome to this assembly,” he said while awkwardly patting Mike’s chest.
Mike also divulged that despite his name, he’s actually more of a dog person. That makes sense, as cat lovers are either manipulative liars, people with no friends or families, or both. You can watch the whole video here: