Urged on by Mike “Champion of Sweetness” Gatto, the otherwise limp-dicked California Senate today took up a resolution recognizing the Nagorno-Karabagh Republic. How sweet is this? Pretty goddamn motherfucking sweet, if you ask me.
I remember when I first heard of the Nagorno-Karabagh Republic. I was like, “What the fuck is this shit?” But then when I heard Mike Gatto cared, I decided to start caring too. Now the plight of the NKB — and by extension, all the people of Armenia — is something that really matters to me, even if I don’t really understand why.
Here’s what I do know… The NKB is important to Armenians, Armenia is important to Glendale, and Glendale is important to Mike Gatto. So if you do the math, this issue is of such symbolic importance that the utter futility of the resolution itself doesn’t really matter one god damn bit. And to any of legislators who voted against the bill over objections to California’s local government asserting itself into a foreign conflict on the other side of the globe — SUCK MY FUCKING DICK!!!! YOU’RE ALL WORSE THAN HITLER!!!