Advanced Energy Disses Mike Gatto

I just watched about half of this long and mostly boring new video posted by Advanced Energy Econ, an industry trade group dedicated to environmentally progressive business initiatives.  They recently invited Mike Gatto and two far uglier state legislators to participate in this audaciously titled but ultimately tedious video, “Pathway to 2050.”

Maybe the video wouldn’t have sucked if Gatto hadn’t been marginalized by the show’s producers and dickhole host.  Even Gatto made frequent jokes about being sidelined for most of the show.  How bad was it?  Here are seven takeaways.

7.  Mike Gatto:  Man of Shadows

Who’s that mysterious man confined to the shadowy corner of the stage?  Mike Gatto, dumbass.  Put two and two together.  Why did every other member of the panel get flattering stage lights pointed at them?  What a crock of bullshit.

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.22.09 AM

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.17.19 AM

6.  Look What They Did to His Face!

They also occasionally superimposed random unrelated shit over his face.  Why?  Because they are dumbshit assholes who suck shit off each others’ cocks.  Seriously… fuck those guys.Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.20.21 AM

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.15.51 AM

5. Audible Disrespect

Jump ahead to the 22 minutes mark.  Mike’s saying something, but it’s hard to hear cuz they left Douchebag De Leon’s mic up.  Sure, he should have the decency to keep his mouth shut while Mike’s talking too.  But we’ll get to him in a second.

4.  What The Fuck is on Mike Gatto’s Hand?

At first I thought it was a shadow.   But it kept coming back.  Maybe he got a little doo doo on his hand when he pooped and forgot to wash it off?  Or maybe that’s what they wanted you to think!!!

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.19.51 AM Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.19.52 AM Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.25.51 AM

3.  Kevin De Leon is a Passive-Aggressive Prick

Seriously, fuck this douchebag.  I understand Mike has to suck up to him cuz he’s an almighty State Senator, but I can’t stand his smarmy condescension.  Like the moment when he pedantically feigns appreciation for Mike’s “pragmatic” perspective.  Or when he cuts off Mike’s discussion of present legislation to remind him this is supposed to be a discussion about 2050.  Seriously… fuck this guy in all six holes.

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 12.15.09 PM

2.  Fuck Fran Pavley Too

After being confined to the shadowy nether-regions and largely ignored by the grandstanding State Senators, Mike finally got the chance to talk.  “Assembly always goes last folks,” Mike quipped a room of knowing laughs.  “That’s why you run for Senate,” Fran added, killing all laughter.  Seriously… fuck her in all seven.

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 12.18.12 PM

1.  Mike Gatto Estimates the Size of his Dick

In what’s now become a classic part of any Gatto appearance, he used two broad shoulders, a pair of strong arms and two rugged man-hands to estimate the size of his own cock.

Screen shot 2014-09-05 at 11.14.56 AM


About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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