In what was described as a “major blow to sweetness,” stunningly sexy Assemblyman Mike Gatto flaked on his prior commitment to the La Crescenta Valley Town Council Meeting. Members of the council explained that Gatto had been “held up in Sacramento,” and would not be able to make his much hyped appearance at the 7pm meeting in the La Crescenta Public Library’s community center, which was located “off the upper lot.”
The last minute announcement was especially crushing to members of GattoNation in attendance, many of whom had driven from the far corners of the 43rd District and otherwise had no interest whatsoever in a watching a boring-ass town council meeting.
“This really fucking sucks major dicks,” said Daniel Hajeck. “I know Mike Gatto is an honorable dude of sweetness, so I’m sure he has an extremely valid reason for flaking on us… but I’m still really bummed because I took the last of my acid for this, and you can’t un-take acid.”
Female Gattophiles seemed to take the news even harder. “I was so excited to give him a hug and push my tits against his chest and get that man smell all over me,” Tabitha McElroy stated for the record. Those sentiments was seconded by Jenn Logan, who surveyed the councilmen in attendance and concluded, “You can totally tell these other dudes have small dicks that aren’t the least bit sweet.”
Other Gatto-Maniacs joined them in leaving before the meeting officially started, as the presence of Cub Scouts and senior citizens suggested the most boring shit in the world was about to happen. Many left notes for Mike, which the La Crescenta Valley Town Council promised to deliver to the absent Assemblyman.