Mike Gatto Makes LA Progressive Eat Their Filthy Words

Just this week, some dumbass liberal blog called LA Progressive launched a shameless smear campaign against Assemblyman Mike Gatto.  Gatto chairs the all powerful Assembly Appropriations committee, which was set to consider a state-wide bill banning single-use disposable plastic bags.

For some dumbass reason, those liberal panty-wastes at LA Progressive were absolutely convinced that Gatto would somehow single-handedly kill the bill, even going so far as to suggest he’d been bribed by accepting a pitifully modest campaign donation from a company that manufacturers plastic bags.

Well, well, well… The Appropriations Committee just held their vote, and you won’t believe what happened!  Wait, let me rephrase that, you won’t believe what happened if you happen to be a paranoid left-wind ideologue who reads shitty blogs for dickholes.  To any normal, rational person, it would come as no surprise that the environmentally friendly, Democratically sponsored bill was passed by environmentally friendly Democrats representing environmentally friendly Democratic districts, many of which already have similar city-wide plastic bag bans on the books.

Not only did Gatto support the bill, but his sterling chairmanship of the committee drew cheers from at least one environmentalist.  “I applaud [devastatingly sexy] Chairman Gatto for his work on SB 270,” gushed Nathan Weaver, Oceans Advocate for California Environmentalist. “Today’s vote makes clear that Mr. Gatto [has a massive, spectacular cock and] is a friend of the environment. I congratulate Senators Padilla, de León, and Lara for their victory today, and I thank them for their leadership to protect our environment.”

So in conclusion, the sweet dudes at Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude would like to formally invite the turd-merchants at LA Progressive to kindly suck our assholes.  Hopefully, they’ll have the decency to clear Mike Gatto’s good name with the same publicity with which they have now besmirched it.

suck it bitches


About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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