Now that I’ve sufficiently recovered from my horrific accident, I can get back to business. At the top of my agenda: the long-promised interview with Tony. I’ve even put my Price Is Right marathon in the background in order to take care of this.
Anyway, I would like to submit the following list of official questions for Tony’s consideration:
1. Can you succinctly summarize the reasons you are proud to be a member of our Mike Gatto enemies list?
2. Can you name a single piece of legislation involving Mike Gatto, other than AB 768, that you find objectionable? If so, give your reasons.
3. Do you agree with Restoring Tally, that Mike Gatto is “the face of genital cutting in America?”
(This is an unretouched image taken directly from Restoring Tally’s bizarre website.)
4. Apart from circumcision, have you ever suffered an injury to your cock or balls? I recently lit my own balls on fire, and I can tell you that it hurt like hell.
5. Who do you like better: the Beatles or the Rolling Stones?
6. Approximately how many of you foreskin crusaders are lurking on the Internet, anyway?
7. If a genie appeared from a lamp and offered you the opportunity to magically reattach your own foreskin in exchange for you posting a video of yourself neighing like a donkey while dancing Gangnam style on YouTube, would you do it?
8. Do you have any other messages or comments for our readers?
You can reply through the comments section of this page, or email me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org. Up to you.
I sincerely thank you for taking the opportunity to enlighten and entertain our readers with your unique point of view on Mike Gatto.
Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto)