DAULTON GATTO UPDATE: Daulton Recovering from Testicle Injury

I just wanted to update our loyal readers on some news regarding my balls. A couple weeks ago, I accidentally lit my own balls on fire while attempting a “blue angel,” a juvenile trick in which one can proliferate a large flame by farting into a lighter, as seen here:

 

Anyway, my balls are still a little tender to the touch, but I’ve sufficiently recovered to proceed with my interview with Tony. I apologize for the delay.

(Proof that I am no relation to Mike Gatto: Mike Gatto would need a blowtorch to light his own balls on fire. I only needed a 50-cent lighter purchased from a shady Russian at a shitty smoke shop in West Hollywood.)

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About Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto)

I am a sweet dude, but nowhere near as sweet as Mike Gatto. (I am not related to Mike Gatto. Our identical last name is purely a coincidence.)
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2 Responses to DAULTON GATTO UPDATE: Daulton Recovering from Testicle Injury

  1. Pingback: TONY INTERVIEW: Questions for Tony |

  2. Pingback: 5 Reasons “Alex L.” Is a Complete Poser who Is Unfit to Play the Role of Mike Gatto |

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