Some redneck gun-lovers have targeted stalwart Assemblyman Mike Gatto as part of an effort to lobby for more guns. Why would people want more guns? Well, for one, because they are retarded. But the issue goes much deeper than that: they also have small penises, poor health, shitty jobs, bad hygiene and dilapidated, roach-infested homes on wheels.
For some laughably pathetic reason, these fuckwits seem to think they will be our nation’s only line of defense when an elite foreign army decides to depose our government in a bloody coup d’etat. Yeah. Not the U.S. Army… not the Marines… not the Airforce… no, our only salavation will be an unorganized contingent of old, fat, white dudes with small penises, poor health, shitty jobs, bad hygiene and dilapidated, roach-infested homes on wheels. And in order to humor this stupid and dangerous delusion, the rest of the nation has to live with the constant fear of being gunned down in a movie theater. So super sweet!
Thankfully, there’s still one Californian with the balls to stand up to these lonely gun-humpers. Handsome Mike chairs the powerful Assembly Appropriations Committee, which will soon consider four different gun control bills: SB808, SB580, SB505 and SB199. What exactly do these bills aim to accomplish? I have no idea, and I have too many other important news stories today to be bothered with looking it up. Suffice to say, if these lunatic tit-heads are against the bills, any sane Californian with a normal sized penis should support them.