A few days ago, my good buddy and partner in sweetness Jarvis Mitchell broke what is shaping up to be the 43rd district’s story of the century. Jarvis got wind of an upcoming musical about none other than the incumbent Duke of Sweetingham, Mike Gatto himself. Of course, this bizarre yet intriguing news made me go crazy with curiosity, so I turned off The Price Is Right and started pounding the pavement in search of further information.
Through sources in Glendale’s thriving Armenian community, I was able to ascertain that the upcoming Mike Gatto-themed production is not actually a musical, but a work of dramatic literature in two acts. Word is that it’s set to debut in Los Angeles sometime this fall, but as of now, that’s all those shady Armenians will tell me. They were much more forthcoming with advice on where I could get a great deal on a 1989 two-tone Mercedes-Benz 560SEC with light body damage. Weird.