Well, then… after spending the better part of today nursing a Boone’s Farm hangover, I was in desperate need of a pick-me-up. That’s when I came across this heartwarming story of a lowly baker, forced into a legal purgatory by an indifferent government bureaucracy and ultimately redeemed by our Adonis of the Assembly, Mike Gatto.
According to Farine, a blog proporting to be ‘crazy about bread,’ there was all sorts of legal red tape restricting the sale of bread and other fresh baked goods in the state of California. If bread was sold retail, it couldn’t be sold wholesale. Retail bread couldn’t be sold wholesale. And most problematic to small, alternative and organic bakers, it was illegal to sell bread or other fresh baked goods prepared in a residential kitchen.
So when the Los Angeles Department of Environmental Health attempted to ass-rape a beloved baker in the 43rd district, Prince Gatto had to step in and sever the agency’s bureaucratic boner, crafting Assembly Bill 1616, more commonly known as The Homemade Food Act. Within a year, Governor Jerry Brown signed the bill into law.
“I’m proud to have delivered this victory to my constituents,” Gatto enthused to gathered to reporters. “And let this be a lesson to the rest of you Sacramento fat cats,” he continued, his grip tightening around the microphone as he turned to address the cameras directly, “Your ass-raping days are over.”*
In this age of cynical politics and crony capitalism, it’s refereshing to be reminded that government can be a powerful tool for helping improve the lives of friends and neighbors while simultaneously extending a middle finger to the bureaucrats and special interests who, when given the chance, have proven themselves all-too-eager to ass-rape the average Californian.
*(I made that part up)