Mike Gatto: Restoring the Innocence of the Early 20th Century

Hey, who’s that handsome guy in the suit?  Why it’s none other than ‘Handsome’ Mike Gatto, the tanned and trim Titan of Glendale.  And what’s got him so fired up today?  Why, nothing less than the rape and pillage of his adopted Armenian homeland.

Armenia, apparently, was once a country.  But as Mike tells it, the Ottoman’s committed a pioneering act of genocide, “stealing the innocence of the early 20th century,” and emboldening future genocidal maniacs to follow in their footsteps.

This isn’t the first time Gatto has taken up the cause of the lowly Armenians, but it certainly marks the fiercest and impassioned pleas for public recognition and of their loss.  In singling out the Ottoman’s for blame by name, he’s shown far more vigor than his fellow politicians in championing the Armenian cause.

It’s hard to believe that some scum-sucking shit-rapists in the blogosphere actually accuse Mike Gatto of being anti-Armenian.  I got more to say on that matter.  But for now, let’s accentuate the positive…

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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4 Responses to Mike Gatto: Restoring the Innocence of the Early 20th Century

  1. Pingback: Mike Gatto Honors Los Feliz Student Reporter |

  2. Pingback: Mike Gatto: Champion of The Nagorno-Karabakh Republic |

  3. Pingback: In Name of the Almighty Mike Gatto, We Declare Jihad on ISIS! |

  4. Pingback: President of Armenia: Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude!!! |

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