Mayor Sam, You Are A Fat Bitch With Fat Bitch Tits

Thanks to the excellent investigative research of our own Daulton Gatto (no relation to Mike Gatto), I’ve learned that notorious muck-racking Gattophobe, Mike Higby, is up to his old fat tricks.

You probably remember Higby as the morbidly obese blogger who tried to defame Mike Gatto.  Gatto had the lies removed from the Internet, but made a lot of fat nerd enemies in the process.

After having his fat bitch tits bitch slapped by Gatto’s attorneys, Higby’s had to get more clever with how he spreads his slanderous lies.

In this latest article, he dredges up his same tired and utterly ridiculous claims that Mike and Danielle Gatto live with his mother and have conned the entire 43rd District into believing they are residents.

But Higby’s sly enough not to post the the most vicious lies under his own name.  Instead, he confines these allegations to the “comments section”, where “anonymous” members of his “goat rapist” community can harp with impunity.

These cowards claim Gatto used separate addresses when filing FEC forms.  And that neighbors saw him living at his mother’s house.  Or the bizzare claim that there were six people registered to live at the 2 bedroom, 2 bath residence.

Mike Hibgy may not be interested in publishing the truth about Mike Gatto, but we’re interested in publishing the truth about him.  So here it is…

Mike Hibgy is so fat that when he turns around, people throw him a welcome back party.

Mike Higby is so fat that his blood type is chocolate milk.

Mike Higby is so fat that other fat people are stuck in his orbit.

Mike Higby is so fat the last time he saw 90210 it was on a scale.

Mike Higby is so fat that he wore an X Files T-Shirt and a helicopter landed on him.

What do you call a stack of pancakes, a dozen eggs, a pound of bacon, hashbrowns, a loaf of toasted wheat bread, beans, ham, a 64-ounce wild cherry Slurpee, a 10-pack of soft tacos, three bean and cheese burritos, two quesadillas, a half-dozen links of alligator jerky, a 10-ounce slab of raspberry crumble, four cans of cream-cheese icing, three Whistle Dogs, a smoked pork shoulder, half of Ireland’s potato crop, a skillet of sauteed butternut squash, a tub of rocky road ice-cream, Cheetos with peanutbutter, a wedding cake, six pounds of melted cheddar cheese, a pail of mayonnaise, a great white shark and a glass of orange juice?

Breakfast for Mike Bigby.

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About Jarvis Mitchell

author, politico, collector of pens
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4 Responses to Mayor Sam, You Are A Fat Bitch With Fat Bitch Tits

  1. Pingback: Apologies to Our Readers… |

  2. Pingback: Mayor Sam Cries Like a Big Fat Baby |

  3. Pingback: The Top 10 Reasons Mike Gatto Is A Sweet Dude |

  4. Pingback: The Sierra Madre Tattler Can SUCK THE SHIT FROM MY ASS! |

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