The Huffington Post is for Stupid Assholes 

How can one site be on a high horse and at the bottom of the barrel at the same time?   Our site may never be accused of Political Correctness, but at least were consistent.   

 

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ISIS Claims Responsiblity for America

After a third straight day of mass shootings and public executions, ISIS has issued an official statement claiming responsibility for America.  While it’s commonplace for the terrorist organization to take credit for isolated attacks, it’s never issued a blanket claim of responsibility for an entire nation.  Until now.

“Let’s put it this way,” said Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi from the ISIS capitol of Al-Raqqah, “by now America’s just one giant mass-shooting-UFC-watching-Red-Bull-swilling-gun-toting-god-loving-woman-hating-Ed-Hardy-wearing perpetual motion machine of hate and violence.  So naturally, we want to take credit for that.  All of it.”

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“But a certain point, it just becomes a matter of efficiency,” he admitted with a sigh.  “As much as I would love to issue a personal statement each and every time someone uses violence to terrorize Americans, I’ve got a caliphate of my own to run here.  So let’s just say that from this point on, ISIS is taking credit for the whole shebang.”

 

 

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If You Could Be Mike Gatto For The Day

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AB2405: Family Time is Fucking Sweet Dude

You know what’s sweet?  Getting paid time off work.  Know what’s considerably less sweet?  Having to go to PTA meetings or watch your kid’s dumbass school play that sucks.  But what if instead of going to work, you could get paid to go to PTA meetings and dumbass school plays?

That’s the proposition at the heart of AB2405, a new bill sponsored by the Gladiator of Glendale, Mike Gatto.  If signed into law, it would require California employers to give their minions three paid days off per year, if they promised to use that time to get more involved in their kids’ school.

That’s a pretty sweet idea, I guess.  And this is a pretty sweet video, even though it’s kinda weird how Mike is surrounded by all those ugly people, just standing around like a bunch of jerks with signs.  They’re probably great people, so it’s nothing against them personally.  I just wish the camera had zoomed in on Mike Gatto so we could see more of his smooth skin.

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Who The Fuck Is This Turd-Licker?

What the fuck is this bullshit?  And who is this turd-licker talking shit about Mike Gatto?

So apparently this licker of turds is Caitlin Mulcahey, and she’s running for the 9th district in the State Senate.  Apparently she was too busy licking turds to get the news that Mike Gatto dropped out of the race for the 9th district months ago.

In this poorly produced video, one of her goons makes bizarre accusations about Mike Gatto hiding something, not being responsive enough on Facebook, and not disclosing endorsements — again, for the race he isn’t running in.

Everything about this video is amateur hour.  Did nobody think to get her a goddamn microphone?  And once they saw how shitty and stupid their video turned out, why didn’t they just scrap it and say, “Well guys, we tried our best, but our best was just a shitty, embarrassing mess, so let’s take a few days off, regroup, and try again later.”

Earth to turd-licker:  Mike Gatto is not your enemy.  This fat fuck is:

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Listen To Our Sweet Podcast

After days of hype, the sweet dudes at Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude are pleased to release the very first episode of our podcast, the Mike Gatto is a Sweet Dude Podcast.  This podcast is sweeter than having your two balls sucked by three hot chicks with four pussies.  You can download it now from iTunes, or stream it here.  Sweet sweet super sweet.  Haters can suck the shit from my ass!

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Our Podcast Will Be Even Sweeter Than Dogs Who Fuck and Puke and Eat Their Own Puke

Our amazing first podcast is almost ready.  But until then, enjoy this video of dogs fucking and puking and eating their own puke to tide you over.   

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