Hey you! I bet you love dogs, right? Sure, we all do. But how have you ever stopped to wonder how dog breeders get all that dog jizz? Sure, we all have. But the answer to that question is a lot more complicated than just getting some dogs to fuck. No sir, scientists have to manually extract the jizz from the male dog’s boner, and then manually insert it into the female dog’s pussy.
I gotta be honest, I’ve watched this video a few times now, and I still don’t know. I do know that this video is pretty fucking hilarious though.
I don’t speak Spanish, so I can’t be exactly sure of what they’re saying. But it starts with this timid, uncertain girl jerking off a giant dog boner. She’s obviously a little unsure how to make it jizz, so this other dude behind her is like, “here let me show you how to do it.”
Then grips the dog’s boner with more skill and technique. He holds it firmly and tightly right at the base of the shaft like a cock ring and is like, “now that’s how you jerk a dog off.” Then he goes to town on the dog boner. Then some people behind him start laughing, which really seems to annoy him, but he’s a total professional and refuses to let their immaturity denigrate his commitment to craft.
This video is sweet. I mean… I think it’s sweet. Actually, it might not be sweet. Maybe it’s sweet in some ways but then sucks in others. There’s something creepy about seeing a bunch of people calmly and asexually jerking a dog off. It would almost make more sense to me if they were jerking off a dog just because they liked jerking dogs off, and not because it was part of some joyless ritual.
There’s something deeply unnatural about a room full of clinical people in lab coats and rubber gloves jerking off dog boners in the name of science. It kinda makes me feel like somewhere along the line humanity went profoundly off course. Sure, each individual step in the process leading up to that dog jizzing makes perfect sense… we want companions, so we get pets… we want dog breeds, so we need dog breeders… totally logical, right?
But I don’t know… just imagine a bunch of monkeys jerking off a cat. It’s total fucking insanity. But what’s the real difference between scientists jerking off dogs and monkeys jerking off cats? A couple chromosomes at most.
In summary, if you’ve ever been curious about how semen is collected for the purposes of dog breeding, this video is a good place to start.
(Author’s Note: If you jerk a dog off because you like jerking dogs off, you’re a pervert and your videos would be banned from YouTube. But if you jerk a dog off for money, then you’re a dog breeder and it’s all perfectly logical and legal and won’t violate YouTube’s terms of service.)